Lately i feel as if I've been torn apart. Literally torn up and fed to the wolves. I feel like my husband and i are on one side of the fence facing a bunch of people who don't believe in us anymore. this year has not been easy. last year was not easy. i have no idea what to do anymore when it comes to how we are going to live. don't get me wrong, i am still absolutely in love with my man. I just feel like things financially will never change. do we move? are we stuck in Utah forever? do i just start having kids and give up my dream? am i a bad Mormon for not wanting a child right now? or not seeing the 'big picture' because i feel that the Lord hasn't been there for us? I'm sure no one will see this, nor even care. but if anyone out there feels the way that i do give me a shout out or some words of wisdom because I'm pretty sure that the 'deep pit of despair' I'm in is not going to change without some form of intervention. til then...
